Motherhood Fundamentalism

I am not a real book reader because I can't sit too long in the same position.

Therefore I prefer to read columns about various subjects.

A few days ago I wrote in a comment to Jeannie that I had read a very interesting column. It was in fact an interview with the American writer: Ayelet Waldman*.

She* reviewed here her new book entitled: Bad Mother -- A Chronicle of Maternal Crimes.

I find the subject very interesting because I recognized what she said.

This is a summary of the interview.

I quote: In these times of overflowing agendas and performance pressure, "debt feelings" and "stress" in motherhood are always present.

She* also spoke about the opposite: mothers who chose to stay at home to take care for their children.

The names for this phenomenon are known as: hyper moms, total mothering or "motherhood fundamentalism".

She* also said: to stay at home to raise your children is in fact something for rich people, but now many other mothers also feel themselves obligated to do it. Why... because they are sometimes being stigmatized as bad mothers through the hyper mamas.

In fact I find this unfair because: not everyone has the possibility to make the choice to stay at home to raise the children. Every mother must be free to make her own choice without being stigmatized.

I am an older woman now and when I became mother I could not make the choice, I had to give up my work because I had no one to take care for my child.

That's now almost 45 years ago and even at that time there was a sort of battle between the "working mothers" and the "staying home mothers". Even at that time in the eyes of the working moms you were seen as "inferior" if you remained at home to raise your child, and now ... the situation became almost the opposite.

Therefore ... to all young (and also older) mothers: give up this fight ... in fact, there may not be a fight between mothers. Just be a mother on your own way!

I hope that I have you all incited to reflect on this theme!

For more information about this subject she* refers to these two American websites:

TrueMomConfessions.com

Freerangekids.com

The book : Bad mother - A Chronicle of Maternal Crimes, Minor Calamities and Occasional Moments of Grace written by Ayelet Waldman is available at:

www.randomhouse.com

PS: Ayelet Waldman studied Law at the Harvard University, she was a classmate of Barack Obama.

Our Garden ... Pipke's Little World

The layout of our garden and the birth of Pipke: they both took place approximately around the same time. In fact: we can't imagine ourselves our garden without Pipke.

Our garden is her little world although, she has experienced the great big world !

Yes, once she lived a whole month in the woodland, she has tasted freedom and it was a real adventure for her and us! (I will tell you that story later. In fact, that's a part of her story that I have not told in Jen's blog.)

Since then our garden has changed and evolved enormously.

You can see how it started on this picture at the end of October 1994 when the parents and ancestors of Pipke came to visit us.

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and this is the view from my living room window now!

If you want to see how it grew in the mean time then I invite you to watch the photo album.

Click on the link to view *Our garden Pipke's little world August 2009. 

*Attention:

I had to adjust this post, because the link above was no longer available. 

Therefore I made a shortened new version of it on Youtube on March 1, 2025. 

This shows the result of 14,5 years labor. We constructed the fence and our garden path ourselves. We also laid out the lawn with grass mats* and we even built our little pavilion (or garden house) ourselves, I was my husbands assistant bricklayer. 

I sat on my knees in cement to lay and to flatten the screed of the gardenhouse while my husband prepared the specie with the mill. 
Believe me this was hard work but, I did it with much pleasure.
I can tell you, during those 14,5 years, every year... there went something wrong with the vegetation. In fact it has always been (and still is) a struggle against plant diseases and insects and that's not easy without the use of insecticides. Here in Belgium they use insecticides for everything, we stand even on the top on that level (we overuse insecticides). But ... we don't use them, it's not good for the environment and of course also for the most important thing: Pipke's health!

Have you seen her pen? Since the end of last January she wants to go there no longer, she wants to stay in her dogs nest beside our back door. Therefore we made a special cubby-hole (or veranda) for her with a warmth lamp on that spot so that she can stay warm and dry. Of course this is not an ideal situation, but as you can see on this picture taken on August 8, 2009, the situation of her feathers is even at this moment very poor and they are also not at all water proof.

Now her pen and her little pond are a very empty place and when we go there, we have always such mixed feelings.

Once ... she jumped in and out that pond with so much joy, she even dived in that little pool of water. Now ... she's so helpless! She only wants to go there “together” with us because she can't get out her pond without help.

Now she's a real “old little lady” and therefore we pamper her as well as we can and we try to make the best of it.

I am still working on her story, there is so much to tell about her. I had to shift and insert the text already many times because I forgot something.

I want this to become a really "good" post!

Anyhow: This was only a general overview, I will go more in detail in an other post about the works we did and the problems we had (and still have) in our garden. I will give you also more details about the plant varieties.

We tried to make our garden not “too artificial”, but I find this not so easy. In fact ... gardening is a kind of manipulation of nature and some people can make beautiful creations by doing that. Of course it depends also a little on the environment where you live if you can keep your garden natural or not. Here in my region we have a kind of moorland soil and that's not an easy soil for gardening but we try to make the best of it.

I like to finish this post with a picture (taken on August 6, 2009) of the most beautiful thing in our garden, the thing that makes our garden and our life "complete"... our living "ornament": 

PIPKE

I hope that you've enjoyed the walk in Pipke's little world!

Till next time.

PS: *I don't know if this is the correct translation or description, maybe “sod” is a better word in this case.

Greetings from Belgium!

Today I wrote in a comment to Jeannie that the sun was shining here.

We used this occasion to visit our favorite spot. I will tell you more about this spot in an other post.

It's an hotel/ restaurant/ bistro with a very large beautiful garden in the middle of nature.

This photograph was taken there this afternoon and whereas that happened ...I was thinking on: *Jeannie, who's gasping for sun right now... on *Jen, who went kayaking and I also thought on *Danger Panda, who's probably back home now after her Esperanto adventure.

I wave to all of you!

Herewith... I send you greetings from Belgium!

PS: at this moment this picture is exact 2 hours old.

*** They are bloggerfiends.

Me and the Translator

Probably ... I give this more attention than it needs, in Dutch we say maybe it's: “**een scheet in een fles” but... I must write this post because I was a little embarrassed.

I placed a comment on Jen's comment* in her blog, but because the translator deceived me, the joke that I made there... became a real blunder.

Maybe I am an "old tart" but, in the first place... I interpreted what she said correct! I know what "to break up" means, I don't need the translator for this but her comment came so suddenly, it was so unexpected that I started to doubt myself. Therefore I consulted the translator with the result that I made a fool of myself.

My problem is that I can say it in English and of course my conjugations are probably not always correct but I need the translator to check my spelling. I also need sometimes the dictionary because one word can have so many meanings.

Let me say.... the translator and I... we supplement each other but, today I would give him: "een stamp onder zijn gat**"! He fooled me!

From now on... if I have doubts ... I am only going to follow my own intuition.

The translator will never have the same capacity to translate as the human brain .... even not as that of an old lady!.

Do you think that “that" will ever be possible? Do you think that the translator might ever “reason” as a human brain?

I don't!

PS: * if you are interested look for my comment in Jen's post on July 14. ( Update: Jen's blog exists no longer.)

** I invite you to use the translator! Could you find out what it really means?

Warning: Indecent Exposure!

Jen said in one of her earlier posts that maybe, one day she will show us her "ass" on F.B, well in expectation of that, I will show you mine here on blogger! A real “Belgian” ass!

Maybe it's a little over the edge but, it's the way it is!

What did you expect? That... I show you my "own" ass,..ha..ha ..I show you the ass of a real Belgian horse! In fact the real Dutch name is: Belgisch trekpaard! (the translator translates this literal as: appetite horse!! Ha ha ...funny..LOL!

Of course it must be: a Belgian draft horse or Belgian heavy horse. They are one of the strongest of the heavy breeds.

Are you curious...do you really want to see it? Then look at the end of my post. I have put it there so that it will not shock you immediately, I have warned you!

I took these pictures not so far from my home (approx.3km.).

In fact the result of the first picks. could have been much better (too much back light) but, because of the barbed wire of the fence i could not take the picks. from an other angle. They did not want to pose for me at another spot, and you can't ask them to do that:):)! I took these picks. on June the 1^st.

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Because I knew that there were foals at an other place I went there on June the 15^th to take more pictures! Oh, it was so beautiful to see the foals romping in the meadow!

You must know in earlier times Belgian draft horses were famous in the whole world. In 1910, 34,576 draft horses were moved from Belgium to America, Canada, Russia, Swedes, Germany, France, the Netherlands and Italy.
In the port the horses were used to transport freight. There they were called nation horses. They drew the ships in canals and rivers. Along most of the canals still lies a towpath. That was the path for the horses. They were also used in the coal mines where they entered as a foal and never more came out because they became too heavy and so they could no longer be up hoisted.

After the second world war these splendid heavy horses were repressed by the motorization.

In 1950, there were still counted 200.000 draft horses on Belgian floor. In the eighties remained only 6,000. Now there are 15,000 Belgian draft horses in Belgium and there are again more foals born. .

Cutting the tail at draft horses happened for practical reasons. At the work on the land the horse sways with its tail to chase off the flies. So it was not easy to control the horse because at swaying it's tail the rein came under the tail with the result that the horse became uncontrollable. With a short tail one does not have this problem, but the horse has more charge of the flies.

Since 2001 it has been prohibited in Belgium to cut horse tails.

Now these days here in Belgium draft horses devotees and enthusiastic breeders are stimulated to keep this unique race alive.

I found out that there are at least five places in the U.S where they are still bred. One of those places is Blackleg Acres in Blackville South Carolina.

They are a living monument!

I have a living monument in my neighborhood that must walk around with an “indecent exposed” ass but, that does not disturb me, I like them as they are!

I hope that also you are not disturbed by it and that you can laugh with it!

Here it is!:):):)

P.S: Hm..hm.. Danger panda said in a comment to Jen: If you can make a blog banner out of the hind end of an elephant.... and so on!

Imagine yourself that this Belgian hind end would be “my” blog banner, ha ha!:):):)

That would be not very tasteful I think...too much exposer!!

Of course I would never change my blog banner, it will always stay Pipke's nest, she is a duck with a dog's nest! She is unique!

Not the Appropriate Time

The last 14 days I prepared a post about: my Belgian ass.

I had planned to publish the post yesterday.

After I was informed about the sad situation of *Jen's Grandfather, I have changed my mind. Now it is certainly not the right moment to tell naughty jokes about a Belgian ass!

Jen gave me the opportunity and a place in her own blog to write my first post. She inspired me to start my own blog.

Out respect for her, I let my "Belgian ass" wait and I hope that one day.... in the future...when she has processed a little what happens now, that postponed post... will cheer her up!

To Jen

Fran

P.S: *for those who don't know Jen yet, read my first post: Oei..oei..ai..ai..plop!

Photography: a New Challenge for me

In fact I had not planned this but I had so much pleasure when I took pictures* (see link below) during my running circuit that I have decided to do this more often!

The day after I took those first pictures, I went back to take some more!

This time from the part that is already history and that I run no more! (Until a few years ago I ran 3 km. more).

Now I have my complete running circuit of 9 km. on image!

I like to show you a few images of that last part! (Click on picture to enlarge.)

You must know that photography is something “new” for me although I am the daughter of two generations of professional photographers. My grandfather learned his profession during W.W 1 in Blackpool, England around 1915 and my father (who was born in Blackpool) learned it from his father. After the war they came back to Belgium.

Of course I know something about making and developing photographs, but... that was the photography from more then fifty years ago.

I can remember, my father used a camera like this (see picture) when I was a toddler.

I even have known that they used “glass platelets” instead of film. They also had to use a separate flash light, (they had to install it on the camera) and light bulbs to use the flash! For every flash which they had to make they had to change the light bulb!

Those used bulbs were very special and useful for us (it was just after the war).

We prepared them to decorate our Christmas tree! (On the link you can see the tree.)

We plunged them into glue and covered them with very tiny silver flakes (almost a powder) and so it became a very original and sparkling Christmas tree!

I think it must have been until around 1948, I'm not sure about that date because I was still too little.

Not so long thereafter came a flashlight with light bulbs they could use several times again (approx. 10 times max. I think).

They also had to use a separate hand light meter. They had to take into account that a moving object needs a shorter opening time than a stationary object and therefore they had to adjust the closure time of the lens manually every time the situation of the object changed.

In fact nothing went automatically!

I saw my father working in the dark room. That was a room with special red light, white light would have ruined the blank photograph paper. (We kids have sometimes ruined it, because we had put on the white light when the blank paper wasn't covered and so it could be used no more)!

First he developed the film and put it in a projector. Thereafter he projected the film on the blank photograph paper. It was fascinating to see “how” after been exposed to light and going in a development fluid the picture appeared on the photograph paper. The exposure to light and the development bath, they both needed an “exact” timing or, the picture became too light or too dark.

As a teenager I was sometimes his help and then I had to dry press the wet photograph sheets in a special machine, a hot press! (you can compare it with a big iron** machine in a laundry but smaller and not turning around).

In fact those days were the “middle ages”of photography!

And yes, I know “a little” about photography but now I must bring it into practice and I must learn to work with the new technology! I must enter the digital era! Once...I wanted to become a professional photographer but my father's opinion was that: it was not a profession for a woman!

So now: I am going to do it just for pleasure and.. practice...practice..practice !

*See my post: Will you be my running mate?

**Iron machine: I don't know if it's the good translation in this context but it's not easy to describe it.

P.S: Excuse me, although I left out many handling's and details, the explanation about developing and producing photographs became a little longer than I expected it would be.

It gave me the feeling that I stood again in the darkroom, beside my father!

I hope that you had a little bit the feeling that you stood there too!