A Post Without a Tittle

(I started writing this post with an entirely different intent, but ultimately my mind has strayed, with the result that it has become something that I can't define. Therefore, I finally couldn't give this post a title. I leave it to you how you want to call the result.)

Perhaps bantling?

- At the moment I'm still working with much pleasure on 'Pipke's Life Story' on my second blog.
If you've read the PS. of the post  'Pipke on TV' then you will have noticed that I've problems to retrieve film images.

So while preparing the next chapters I started to search after particular  film images which I wanted to add to the story later on.

Those film images were taken during a consultation at the vet, and in this particular scene Pipke was brought under narcoses.

After searching through all my photo and film files I couldn't find them.

Therefore I started to think back, and then I remembered: 'I've seen the film images where I was looking for,  the day after Pipke died'.

I've seen them together with my  '*hubby' at the saddest moment in my life.

Watching them was our way to try to process the death of Pipke. 

So – after searching everywhere – it dawned on me why I can't find those images anymore! Then I realized! Of course - those particular film images are standing on the original small tape of the film camera, and this tape is sitting in the movie camera itself wherewith the film images were taken so long ago.

And that's now exact the problem: after moving to another place, 
I no longer have the film camera with the original tape. They are no longer in my possession.

It's really a pity because, not only several film images of Pipke, but also almost all the film images of our family, and my granddaughter as a child are standing on that tape.

So I wonder where those images ended?

Now I only hope that they're not thrown away, that would be a real sin.

But what do you want - that's the way it goes in life!

Not everyone cares about images, for some it doesn't mean much, not to say anything.
You perhaps know it already. I cherish memories. A part of me even thrives on it, it's actually almost all I have left now.

Maybe I've too much of them, but – what do you want: the older you get the more memories you have!

Memories – if you don't have them – then you must have lived a very superficial life.

Of course life goes on, and you don't choose to live in the past, but - just listening to a song can suck you back in time, and that happened to me not so long ago.

While I was driving the car they played this song on the car radio.

I'd almost forgotten this beautiful Abba song from long time ago. 

It touched me in such a way, that I became very emotional.

So it brought me back in time

At that time it was just a beautiful song for me, but now it has become a song with a kinda bitter aftertaste.

Now my present runs into the past, now and then becomes entwined – playing games within my mind. 

So while I listen to the song, I close my eyes and imagine that ...... !

Unfortunately – I have no longer a fireplace, but I still have a clock, and this clock is ticking already more than 37 years! 

Now I hear her ticking at my place. 

Then I could hear her ticking in 'our house'.

The ticking has remained the same, but the early morning ritual that made  ​​it possible that she continued ticking has totally changed.

Now – I'm the one who does the winding of the clock, and every time I do that – I think of the past. 

Memories -- even a clock has a history! Tik..tak ... tik ...tak  ...

Enjoy the song!

Hope you gather many beautiful memories, only then life will be worth living.

Note: Discover an other version of the song sung by 'Sissel' the 
woman with the voice of an Angel. 

It will give you goosebumps!

For the Last Time - Sifting Through Ideas

It's not that I am inconstant but I think I'm going to chance my *plan again (*how to publish the story).

Some comments on my blog and also emails from my blogger friends have brought me on a better idea. Actually, once before I had already thought on that idea, although -- mine was a little different, so I was still doubting.

The suggestions from my blogger friends made me sure that the new idea will work.

So – thanks to you my friends I have now made a dicision.

I can't tell you yet what my "new plan" is, but I will reveal it on Monday, May 31.

I hope to surprise you.

Meanwhile, stay tuned!

Till soon

Fran

Starting to Doubt

Pipke's full life story is finished, and now I'm not sure what I should do with it!

Four weeks after Pipke's dead, we were invited to a jubilee celebration of one of our friends.

They knew Pipke from the day that she was born, and they asked us how it went with her.

Of course, we had to tell them the bad news. They were touched to hear what had happened.

The other visitors (around 50 I think) asked me to tell her story, they asked me a thousand questions. A few said even: “but actually, you must write a book about her. What you've experienced is unique. We would buy your book immediately”.

I didn't tell them that I was already writing her story, and now: “I really started to doubt”.

I would like that it could become a book, but also – that I could tell her story on my blog. In the mean time I adapted the story so, that it's possible that it can become a book or/and a blog.

Then I started to search for information on the internet, and I found out, that it's not that easy to publish your own book.

It costs a lot of money and you must find the right persons for it. They also must be interested in your story.

It was already December, 10 .

I was still writing Pipke's story – and as I often did – I reread posts in my blog.

Again I found so many stupid grammar mistakes and I thought “this is not good enough”.

Of course finding your own mistakes is improving yourself but then I thought: if I want “this” to become a book – then I need help – and if it doesn't become a book – then it will be at least a “good” blog.

Therefore, we searched on the internet for someone who can help me with my story, and two days later we found someone to subedit it. (Her name is Heidi G.)

I let her read a post of Pipke's story and immediately she agreed to subedit Pipke's full story.

She is a professional subeditor and someone who also loves animals, so I couldn't find someone better. She will understand my feelings.

Then an idea crossed my mind: in fact, there are so many animals living in cruel life circumstances, maybe I can ease their suffering – maybe I can mean something for animals in need.

Why shouldn't I donate Pipke's story on a “*Charity Cause for Animals”.

Maybe I even need to search for *them in the USA, because I write in English, there they can reach a larger audience.

Perhaps, they will help me financially – and with the rigmarole to publish her story.

(Of course I pay the costs for the subediting.)

In return – I would offer them the eventually profits.

I don't need to earn on this – it would make me happy – to know that I can help animals with this gesture.

Of course, I do hope that they understand – that first: I want my name on the story – and second: that I also want to publish it (or at least extractions) on my blog.

Perhaps this isn't congruous, and If this would be the case, then it will become a real dilemma for me. I promised my readers to tell Pipke's story!

(Although, not everyone reads blogs – there's still a large audience that reads books – and they can sell it for their good cause.)

Perhaps this aim is too high for me.

If I don't succeed in it – and it only stays a dream – then at least – I have tried to mean something for animals in need.

Then there is yet an other thing: now you will encounter no more stupid grammar mistakes in Pipke's life story, and that will be more pleasant for you to read .

Just after New Year, I have finished Pipke's story, and this morning I've sent it to the subeditor.

My hubby placed it on his computer in a normal book format (5,51 Inch by 8,26 Inch) to see how many pages it would become in a book and guess what: I have written 175 pages, not all pictures and/or film pictures included (and we have a lot more)!

I still can't believe it!

So now you know that it will not be a short story.

I can't give away too much, but these are the titles of only a few chapters. (I think you call this teasers, correct me if I'm wrong!)

A Blessing in Disguise.

Hubby's Plans.

A Companion for Pipke.

Emergency Call 991.

Living in the Woodland.

Missing Duck.

A Bet.

Help....Robbers!

Pipke on TV.

Sparrows with Mustaches.

Her “Eagle” Eye!

A Stitch in Time Saves Nine.

and many more, but no no, I'm not going to reveal more, I hope that I've made you a little curious.

Now it will take a while, how long – I don't really know, it depends on how the things develop.

I will keep you informed.

In the mean time, I will publish some posts about various subjects. I have written them in draft already some time ago.

I hope till soon!

PS: * Can someone give me a hint, where must I be with my proposition?

Tips are welcome!

Post up date January 19:

This is one site (see under) that I've just found on the internet. Maybe someone can tell me: what do you think about them?
Which one do you know?
If you had to make a choice, which one should you choose from the list on the left side of this site?http://www.animalcharitiesofamerica.org/memberset.asp

Finally

Three months ago I ordered the book: Wesley the owl, written by Stacey O'Brien.

After waiting so long I received today the message that it's arrived.

Today I went to the home page of Stacey O'Brien, and there I discovered a You Tube film of her together with Wesley.

Stacey and Wesley

This was so beautiful to see! It was almost if I saw myself and Pipke! She also gave me to eat, she played with my eyelashes without hurting me, she cuddled me like Wesley did, she understood me, we had our own vocabulary. We even made nests together, she also was my mate.

I find it so unfortunate that I couldn't read the book before Pipke died. I am looking forward to read it now and I hope that it can give me comfort.