my nest

Memorial Pipke

2011-09-13T23:57:00.000-07:00

In loving memory of my best friend

Pipke

May 25, 1995 - September 14, 2009

I do not need a special day to bring you to my mind. 

The days I do not think of you are very hard to find. 

Each morning when I awake I know that you are gone. 

And no one knows the heartache as I try to carry on. 

My heart still ache with sadness and secret tears still flow. 

What it meant to lose you --- no one will ever know. 

My thoughts are always with you, your place no one can fill. 

In life I loved you dearly; in death I love you still. 

For always

Your Oma

PS: My best friend = link

A Message to my Dear Blogger Friends

2010-11-18T11:13:00.000-08:00

At the moment * I need time!

I'm thinking of you all.

Thanks for your support!

PS:* link.

Info About the Previous Post

2010-11-11T00:29:00.001-08:00

Now -- I've tears enough to come to you my dear PIpke

For those who want more explanation about the previous post please send me your Email address. I can't talk about it openly on the Internet. It's all too precarious.

Thanks for your kind comments.

A Dramatic Turn

2010-11-09T12:40:00.000-08:00

Today, something dramatic happened in my life folks, something where I can't talk about on my blog.

Once I started both my blogs in good spirits with the aim to tell Pipke's life story but at the moment I lack the courage to really go on. I'm totally collapsed and I really don't know if I will ever come back.

I've still published the previous post because I had written it already months ago and I had so much pleasure with it.

It was good to know that you were here and that you stopped by from time to time.

Actually after Pipke died, telling her story became a new aim in my life. It kept me going on, but unfortunately ... this time ... what happened became too much for me.

Thank you for your kind comments, for being a reader or a follower and a friend.

I don't know what the future will bring but at the moment I'm not able to go through with my blogs.

If I would come back then I will let you know.

I will let this blog to rest, together with my dear Pipke, the love of my life!

Remember!

Life is full of beauty.

Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces.

Smell the rain, and feel the wind.

Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams.

Be happy!

Fran

I wish you all the best and take care.

A Combination of my Favorites

2010-11-09T08:33:00.000-08:00

This time about something completely different, *although .....

Probably you've already seen on my profile that one of my interests is: Classical music.

I think now these days it's a kind of music that's rather being ignored by younger people.

Most of them prefer to listen to contemporary music, and I can really understand them. Mostly contemporary music sounds cheerful, and I must agree – that's not so often the case with classical music. Actually – any piece of classical music is bound to touch the sensitive string in every classical music lover's heart. If you are downhearted you best don't listen to it. I myself, I'm not always in the mood to listen to it because it makes me sometimes melancholic but nevertheless I like to hear it so now and then.

When I'm in a cheerful mood then I listen (and/or dance, all by my self) to contemporary music, I really like it too.

Now I want to explain how I came on the idea for this post.

I was surfing on the Internet and I came by coincidence on this YouTube music video. I discovered there that they combined the things I love so much: a part of one of my favorite piano concertos of Serguei Rachmaninov supplemented with beautiful sensitive images and text.

If you love classical music then you will probably know this music piece.

OK – it's an emotional piece but If you are not in the mood to listen and look at it then please don't do it.

Info: Fyodor Dostoyevsky was a Russian writer and essayist.

I have seen an orchestra play this piece in a real concert hall on November 25, 2006.

It was really a fabulous experience. The sound was overwhelming, something completely different than when you hear it on the radio or on your CD player.

It was performed by the Symphonic Philharmonic Orchestra of St. Pietersburg.

The pianist was Igor Tsjetuev. Here you can hear and see him play an other piece of the concert that I attended (click on link).

Actually this was the best performance that I've ever seen and heard. He played the piece with so much power and diligence, it really gave me goosebumps.

I have this music on CD, but It has been a long time since I've listened to it. In fact: my CD player stayed closed since mid-August last year. This was at the time that Pipke became ill for the very last time.

Anyhow, I really love the images and the text they've added to the music. I find it a wonderful combination of beautiful things, things that matter in life!

Life is full of beauty.

Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces.

Smell the rain, and feel the wind.

Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams.

Be happy!

Fran

I still want to add.I discovered something very interesting after I had written this post in draft. Did you know that: Classical music also pulls at the heartstrings of people in a vegetative state.

If one plays music to vegetative patients, their heart rate changes in the same way as that of healthy controls, suggesting that music can affect the neural systems of emotion even when conscious thought is impossible.

To Jeannie and Jen: do you remember the hilarious conversation which followed on the comments of this post.

It went about: "**een scheet in een fles"?

I said there : "And now I go from one extreme to an other, I will listen to Rachmaninov's piano concertos n°1 & 3"

Well -- the piece that you could hear here was the piece that I referred there.

(For those who don't know it: literally translated to English **this means: "a fart in a bottle".

If you want to know what the English proverb is for this, read the comments on this post:):) LOL.)

Maybe you're surprised -- but yes -- I can be funny and naughty too.

PS: I said *although because it goes again about "feelings", but it shows the way I am and how I feel.

I just hope that you don't get bored with it.

(Actually I had prepared this post already two months ago but hesitated to publish it because it was again all so sensitive.)

Oh oh, I've Got Hearing Loss

2010-10-20T02:43:00.001-07:00

This problem started already more than one year ago.

First I noticed that - when I was in a crowd with much background noise, I couldn't understand people well. Actually – I often thought: people don't articulate well these days, I really wasn't aware that there was something wrong with me.

I also often noticed that I didn't hear the phone ring when our TV set was on. The same thing happened when our front door bell rang. But after we'd bought a new TV set I was really surprised that I had to turn the sound almost on his loudest. Therefore I went to an auditory centre a few weeks ago to get my hearing checked.

The diagnose really baffled me folks. I've never realized that my hearing was so bad.

Actually – I even couldn't believe it and asked the lady of the auditory centre if the measurement was right. She confirmed that it was correct, there was no doubt.

I have a loss of 80 percent of the high tones, and 45 percent of the low tones.

The result is that I must wear a hearing aid on both ears.

I have the misfortune that I can't wear a hearing aid that sits inside the ear, because in this case my own voice might sound too loud for me. Therefore I have to wear outer hearing aids behind the ears. Luckily they are rather small.

Actually, I still can't understand that this happens to me. No one in the family has or had such a problem. I never wore a head phone (which is very bad for your hearing) and I was never exposed to loud music, I've always avoided it.

Of course I can't complain, there are much younger persons with a hearing problem.

For me it's even not abnormal – It comes with aging – so I have to take it as it comes.

LOL!

Always stay positive they say!:)

Shall I wear them or not?:)

I only hope that I will get used to the hearing aid set. It will be a great adaption for me because my inner ear is no more used to hear so much. Actually – my hearing specialist says: if I would not wear hearing aids the hearing nerves would die slowly because they receive less and less sound incentives. If hearing loss is not treated, brain can "forget" how to hear and understand speech.

So I had luck, I was just in time. If I would have waited longer, then the damage would have been much worse.

Now my hearing will “likely” remain stable. Actually – that's what I hope.

Therefore I want to warn you.

If you experience even the slightest change in your hearing don't wait to get your hearing checked.

Better too soon than too late!

Growing old sucks folks.

Take care of your hearing!

An Encountering with Kindred Spirits

2010-10-06T00:11:00.000-07:00

Some time ago I promised ter-o-fla to write a post in answer to her comment on my blog: Life Story of a Duck.

This was the comment that she wrote there.

“Just recently my Mom mentioned talking to a stranger about their experiences with their dogs - this man had a young bouvier, the type of dog my family had when I was young - and it was very nice for my parents to talk to the man about the dogs; what they do, how they act, etc. It brought back lovely memories, but also the sadness because - of course - they are all not here anymore. (at least not here in the same form)”.

I told her that it was a coincidence that also I had a conversation with an old lady about animals and that I could almost compare this conversation with her story, it even ended in a friendship.

Well then – her follows my story.

A few months after Pipke had died I was waiting at a railway crossing together with a 77 years old lady accompanied by a greyhound.

At that very moment the alarm bell started to ring and just thereafter the barriers went down.

From the moment that the bell began to ring I noticed that the greyhound began to shiver very heavy. This really wasn't normal behavior, I had seldom seen a dog so afraid. The lady had to reassure the dog, she kept him close to her and gave him a cuddle. After a while he was more at ease. I thought: this dog must have experienced something very bad. So – I asked the lady if the dog was perhaps a rescued Greyhound, and yes I was right. She had adopted him one and a half year ago. He came from Spain where they really mistreat these animals. She told me that he was still afraid of the bell, probably he had heard this sound many times during the greyhound races. It must bring up nasty memories to him.

She also told me that she was a volunteer worker for a Charity Cause for Greyhounds.

After the barriers went open we walked further and we chatted for a while. I said I admired her commitment and that it was good that there are still people like her. She described the situation when he arrived at her home after being rescued. He was frightened of everything, he trusted no one. It took a long while before he could overcome his fears. Now he trusted her completely. He was now her best mate, the sunshine in her life. Every day she walked with him at least one hour. It was good for them both, it kept them both in form.

After a while we said goodbye to each other and while she went away she waved at me and said: hope to see you again!

Only a few days later, I met them both again, but this time at an other spot. “What a coincidence” we both said.

Again we chatted for a while and she asked me where I lived. She could speak so full of love and warmth about animals. They were the purpose in her life since she became a widow. I told her nothing about Pipke, I wasn't yet in the mood because I had still too much grief. After having a pleasant chat we said goodbye and as the time before we hoped to see each other again.

Then one week later I saw them both again – but this time together with an other old lady accompanied by a smaller dog.

This time it was at a whole different area. It was actually on a middle path between two parts of the village on an uncultivated land. She told her friend: “this is the lady where I spoke about”. And of course – you probably can guess – again there followed a conversation about pets. Her friend told me that her dog was also a rescued dog. She had adopted him after her previous dog had died. She had found him in an animal shelter.

He was mistreated, skin and bones, and he had a skin disease. She nursed him and it had taken almost half a year after he was cured. It was a cute little critter, a kind of everything: a mongrel. Very at ease he lay there waiting on the grass while the greyhound sat on his bump observing everything.

Then the lady with the greyhound said: "I'm so happy that I have him. You must know -- I became a widow two years ago. Two months later my previous dog also died and I must tell you, although I loved my husband very much, I had more sorrow when my dog died than when my husband died. The love you get from an animal is so very very different, it's unconditional love, they take you as you are. That's something you can't always say about humans. Actually the love that you get from an animal is the best that can happen to you".

The lady with the mongrel fully agreed. She also was a widow, they both spend much time together now. They walked the dogs together as much as they could.

Then I told them that also I had lost a pet not so long ago and that I was still sad.

They asked me which kind of pet It was and they were very surprised to hear that it was a duck. They asked me a thousand questions. I had to tell Pipke's story. They wanted to know everything about her and when I told them that she was a white crested duck they asked me if I had a picture of her. So – I showed them two pictures of Pipke which I always carry in my wallet. (One with Pipke on my arm under the Rowan tree, and one of her, laying on my breast one day before she died.)

They were very touched by her. I told them that we have many images of her and that they evoke lovely memories, but also much sadness because at the end we had to put her to sleep.

At that moment, while I was looking at Pipke's pictures I got tears in my eyes and they both tried to comfort me. They embraced me and gave me a big hug, it really gave me a warm feeling. They both had also experienced the loss of their beloved pets. They knew how it felt, and the lady with the greyhound said: "though the bond between you and your pet is very valuable, the importance of its loss may not always be understood by other people. I've experienced it. The difference lies in the value that is placed on your pet by your family and by society as a whole and for me my dog was the most precious".

They understood that Pipke was very important and dear to me. They both felt for me.

Meanwhile the time had flown by, we even didn't realize that we stood there more than one hour talking about our beloved pets. It really felt good to have met kindred spirits and that I could share Pipke's story with them.

Now it was time to go, and we embraced each other once more. We waved at each other and said one more time: hope we meet again!

When I looked around I watched them for a while. I saw them walking on with a smooth step, while the dogs frolicked cheerful up and down. This was such a warm and lovely scene, you could see that they “all” were very lucky with each other.

In this case the dog whisperer Cesar Millan would say: they are a happy well balanced pack.

Now it has been a while since I have seen one of them and I wonder how they are doing right now.

My thought are with them and their beloved pets, they really radiated warmth and love.

I hope I will meet those two lovely old ladies and their lucky dogs once again.

I will not forget their warmth and kindness. The small gesture of the hug meant a lot for me, more than they will ever know.

I'm gratefull for it.

PS: ter-o-fla, my family also had a bouvier when I was young. On this post you can see me together with him.

The End of Men

2010-09-20T02:46:00.000-07:00

"Machos have had their best time"!

Man has been the dominant sex since, well, the dawn of mankind. But for the first time in human history, that is changing—and with shocking speed. These are the first sentences of an article in my weekly magazine of September 7.

It quotes an article that appeared last July in The Atlantic Magazine.

This subject only shows how the world has evolved since I was a young girl.

Now mothers say: We want a girl!.

These mothers look at their lives and think their daughters will have a bright future their mother and *grandmother didn’t have, brighter than their sons, even, so why wouldn’t they choose a girl?”

What a privilege those girls have. I really envy them a little.

They are the lucky ones. What a great future they have, I wish them all success!

That they may conquer their place in society!

I would say -- go for it girls!

PS: *I'm also a grandmother.

If you might be interested this is t he original article in The Atlantic Magazine.

I still want to add: I had written this post in draft before I'd read Jeannie's exceptional beautiful story.

Actually hindsight seen I find this post is a complement to her story.

It shows what previous brave generations of women have achieved with their battle for the equality between men and women.

Probably the courageous old lady in Jeannie's story wasn't in the possibility to study when she was young.

Now her dream came true!

It's only so unfortunately that she couldn't enjoy it long.

Memorial

2010-09-14T01:03:00.000-07:00

Today

one year ago it was the saddest day of our life.

That day we lost Pipke.

In loving memory I dedicate this poem to her

You came into our lives for much too short time

 a time we wouldn't trade not even for a million dime 

Then before we knew it the years have flown by

 and then all of the sudden we had to say good-bye 

It was exact one year ago that we had to say our good-bye 

I then held on to you very tight as you closed your eyes 

Your spirit has flown home on the wings of a dove 

into God's loving arm's; in heaven above  

Over the days we've shed many tears 

but the memories we have will live on for years 

We feel your presence and we know that you're near 

you're keeping us safe and calming our fear  

We think about memories from years past 

when you were young and strong, and could run so fast 

we remember all the great times that we all had 

how you always made us happy never made us mad  

They were the best and happiest years we had 

we'll always look back on them and never be sad 

We look forward to the time we'll be together again 

and we thank the Lord for such a great friend  

Now you run and play up in Heaven above 

cradled in God's arms covered with his love 

Playing by the Bridge waiting for the day 

we come down thru the meadow to the bridge to stay  

The love that you showed us we'll never forget 

because to us you're one very special pet 

You're like a star in the dark of night 

always watching over us with the Lord's light  

So now we take time to remember you most beloved friend 

you will always be with us even to the end 

We'll always remember you the way you were 

one lovable huggable soft pile of feathers.   

Pipke

May 25, 1995 – September 14, 2009

I'm lost without you sweety

HUGS

Your

Oma

Poem written by John Quealy and addapted by Fran

PS: See also

My Box with Keepsakes

2010-09-07T09:20:00.000-07:00

I came on the idea for this post after reading an article in my favorite weekly magazine. It brings me back in time because once I had a memory box.

It wasn't a luxury box but rather a very ordinary cardboard box.

Anyhow: The article went about the film “*To kill a mockingbird”

This year this film became fifty years old and for me it's still one of the best films I have ever seen.

It's superb on all counts. It's a great adaptation of *this memorable novel written by (probably you will all know this) the American writer Harper Lee. She's an Alabama author, she only wrote one book – and it was a good one.

What has this to do with my memory box you shall say: well the opening scene of this film starts with a memory box, almost one like I had, although mine was a little larger.

This particular scene is still stuck to my memory. I love the sound of the tikking clock, the cheerful humming of Scout, and the rolling and bouncing of the marbles -- it's all so simple and oh so sensitive. The combination of the images and the music are so touching and so beautiful chosen, for me this scene is a real masterpiece. After so many years -- and seeing it severall times over again -- it still gives me goosebumps when I look at it.

Therefore I would like to show you this scene.

What was sitting in my box with keepsakes!

I was born in the middle of World War 2, so I had not much when I was a small child but I cherished the little things I had.

Unfortunately but not much that was sitting in that box has survived all those years, just some drawings that I made and one of my first books: The Story of Little Red Riding Hood (in Dutch: Roodkapje), my first Communion church book (I was raised catholic) with within it a little handkerchief edged with lace (it was a present for this celebration) and a few communion cards.

Once there was a little Jesus image glued on my prayer book but as you can see my little sister had torn it off, she had also scribbled with a pencil on my story book.

Here you see me with my prayer book, wrapped in the little handkerchief in my hands.

This picture is now 61 years old!

Then at least: the most important object, my doll. I called her: Hilda.

She's almost 60 years old now. My aunt made this doll for me after her little daughter Hilda (she was her only daughter) died of leukemia. She became only 8 years old. If you see pictures of Hilda she looks almost like the doll. She also had very blond short hair that curled outside, she seemed to be made of porcelain. She was such a pretty girl.

My doll is made entirely of cotton fabric and is stuffed with kapok inside, only the head was bought. One thing is regrettable but actually it didn't bother me: she can't bend her legs and arms so she can't sit. But despite this shortcomings for me she was perfect. My aunt also made her cloths.

Look how proud I was at my Hilda.

In this Christmas tree you can see the **Christmas balls and stars which we had made ourselves.:):)

Now you can see that the time has gnawed at the fabric, it starts to fall apart at some places.

You can also see that her cheeks are worn off because I cuddled her so much!

I will cherish her for the rest of my days.

I couldn't show you much, but these items have a great sentimental value for me.

When I look back on it, time has flown by, much much too fast!

One thing I know for sure: the time hasn't gnawed on

"To Kill a Mockingbird".

It will remain intact for always.

It will occupy a specific place in American cinema; it's easy to enjoy and hard to forget.

PS: **On this post I discribed how and of what we made them.

Very special stuf!:):)

Justice is Done!

2010-08-26T12:17:00.000-07:00

In case you didn't know this already.

Dog abuser denied parole as pit bull Louis Vuitton attends hearing.

Not to comprehend that someone can be so cruel.

This man really deserves this sentence.

That this may be a warning to future abusers!

A Memorable Image

2010-08-21T07:59:00.000-07:00

Exact one year ago – at this very hour – this picture was taken.

This was at the day that Pipke began to deteriorate very fast.

This would become her very last fight.

I'm going through a tough time!

To a Dear Blogger Friend

2010-08-12T23:10:00.000-07:00

I hope that you will discover this post, it's intended for you!

And who are you?

Well – in the interest of your privacy – I will not name names. I won't even use the capital of your name, but when I tell you that you've sent me first a mail on January 19 this year – and thereafter we've both exchanged emails – and that your last mail dates from May the 6^th – than you know to whom I dedicate this post.

Yes – to you dear friend!

I didn't want to mail you again because I didn't want to give you the impression that I'm stalking you, that's not at all the case.

No – I'm worried – because it has been a while since I've heard from you.

In your last mail you've told me that you have health problems.

I've often thought of you and now I wonder: how are you doing right now?

I really do hope that your health has improved and that you are feeling better.

I don't know if (but I hope that) you are still following my blogs – so if this is the case then I hope you enjoy Pipke's life story.

You once asked me: “Are we two of a kind with the love of our dear animal friends”.

I'm really convinced of it dear friend.

It's now ten months ago since your beloved pet died.

I really do hope you've got over the loss .

I know and experience that it isn't easy – but let us both remember the happy times we shared with them. Let us both cherish their memory and so let them live on.

I also hope your two new pets are doing well!

If I'm correct then they now must be nine months old.

Actually, now that I've known Pipke, I know what a treat some people who never experience the love of an animal are missing. Animals can be some of the best friends a person could ever have.

I hope your new best friends will bring much joy into your life!

If you aren't feeling better yet than I hope that this can help a little!

Especially for you.

Please – don't feel obligated to answer!

No, I haven't written this post with this intention.

Just let me hear from you “if" you feel the need, whenever, or when you feel the time is ripe for it.

I just wanted to encourage you and give you some support.

Know that – far away – there's someone thinking of you!

I hope that I've succeeded to cheer you up a little.

I still wish you the very best!

Warm hugs

Fran

I really do hope that you've read this!

PS: to my other readers and followers.

If you don't feel good – then of course – this message is also intended to you.

If you're already feeling good – then I'm glad for you!:)

Hugs to you all.

Good News for Bulls in Spain!

2010-07-28T07:57:00.000-07:00

Normally I had planned to publish an other post but I've just received a news mail with *this good message. I really find it a relief.

Long ago (1970) I attended a bullfight in Barcelona and I can't really understand that someone can look at this barbaric event with pleasure. I can assure you I was not the only one who was really shocked to behold it.

I also can't understand that there's still so much cruelty towards other animals in even advanced countries. In this area they still seem to live there in the medieval times.

I find the dancing bears such a poignant case of it. Every time I see the television spot of the WSPA I turn the channel selector to an other channel. I can't see this cruelty and lack of empathy no longer.

How good that there exists Charity Causes for Animals and that there are people with the heart at the right place to support them.

We all can make a difference in the life of an animal.

As you can *see, even a signature can mean a lot!

PS:The promised post : "To a Dear Blogger Friend" will follow soon.

I've Updated my Blog

2010-07-23T00:15:00.000-07:00

Actually I got this idea because sometimes I read other blogs with lots of interesting topics and I find it a pity that mostly you can only see their recent posts. If you don't dig deeper into the blog you will never know what they have written in the past, you will never meet the stories that might interest you.

Because I wouldn't like that my stories from the past would go lost or would disappear into thin air, but also for making the older stories of my blog more accessible to my readers I've made an adjustment as you can see below the posts.

I've placed a link within a link.

I find this a good widget, because so maybe also casual readers will be interested in what I have written in the past.

For the readers or followers who've missed some posts in the past or if you're dropping in for the first time, I hope you can find a subject that can captivate you.

Many topics to choose from, I think.

Enjoy reading!

PS: Oh oh, I see often the same posts on the links. That's something I can't determine myself folks!

The Place of the Scary Experience

2010-07-16T00:55:00.000-07:00

I would like to show you pictures of the place where “it” happened the day before yesterday.

I show them to you to give you an idea of this area.

I couldn't find so much information in English, so I've translated a little part of what I found for you. The little cottage or little farm is called: Boshuisje. Literally translated: “little house in the wood”.

It's located and hidden in the middle of a beautiful nature reserve called: Zoerselbos. It's over 400 hectares wide. It has unexpected hiking and biking opportunities and a colorful variety shows of forests, meadows and fields. Very special is the protected brook the Tappelbeek, a medieval irrigation system. Typical are the meadow creeks, also a medieval agricultural system developed and improved over the centuries by the Cistercians (monks). Rare flora and fauna await discovery in an area that formed the backdrop for the conscripts, a werewolf and the gang of Zoerselbos from the books of the Flemish writer Hendrik Conscience.

Halfway in the 19th century (around 1833) Hendrik Conscience, the man who learnt his people read, regularly visited this area and the Loteling told him his story in this Boshuisje.

They say to be careful, because if what the elderly are saying is true, there is still a werewolf roaming about..:):)

Ha ha actually, I'd almost believe it!

There was more info, but actually it was too difficult to describe it to you and to translate it because they talk about so many local things which you probably don't know.

Therefore – I better show you the images, I think they speak for themselves.

Boshuisje

The interior

The terrace in the backyard of the Boshuisje where we had our lunch.

The couple was lunching under the umbrella far too the right, while the horses were grazing there outside, tied to the pole, just behind the hedge.

We had lunched under the umbrella left of them.

We had much luck, we went out through the gate there only a few minutes before the horse stampeded through this gate.

This -- just in case you want to know the direction towards the North Sea!:)

I regret that I couldn't find larger pictures of the forest and the environment. If I still find something better I will show it.

*****

As an encore: I just discovered these larger images, and I think they will give you a better impression.

The rules of Zoerselbos.

I know – it isn't so spectacular, but this is the simple countryside in Belgium in the *Kempen
*that's how the arae around Zoerselbos is called.

We're living in a very small country, so everything's in proportion.

Don't you agree that something small can also be beatifull?

Thank you for visiting the Belgian countryside.

See you!

Of course...... if the werewolf is no longer roaming about.:):)

A Very Scary Experience

2010-07-14T07:51:00.000-07:00

Today, at the moment that I started to write this post, this happened less than half an hour before, and believe me I stood shaking on my feet.

At this time the weather is very nice here, actually it's even a little too warm. The last few days we had temperatures from 38° Celsius in the shade. It's even so hot that a few numbers of our outside thermometer melted from the heat (they are made of plastic).

So – we decided to go for a lunch in a nearby tavern. It's located in the middle of the woods in a very old little cottage. It's really a beautiful quiet and natural surroundings, a place to become at ease in nature.

When we arrived there on the terrace there also arrived a man and a woman on their horses. It were really two beautiful tall horses, they were very at ease.

The man tied the horses to a pole in the meadow close by, only approx. five meters away from the terrace.

While we sat there waiting for our lunch I said to my husband: “I only hope that those horses don't attract stitch flies”. I said this because I react very allergic to such a stitch. (I can't find the exact translation for it, but we call this fly a: Daas. It gives a very nasty stitch. Actually they are very visious. A normal fly you can hear but this one makes no noise at all, you can't hear it buzzing, and you are bitten before you know it. They are also thinner than a normal fly. I wonder if you know them and how you call them. Do you have them also at your place?)

After we had our lunch we decided to do a little stroll in the woods. Meanwhile the man and the woman were still lunching and their horses stood very at ease grazing in the meadow.

We began to walk along a small path. Left of us was a small ditch and left of that ditch a wider path.

While we were chatting to each other, we were suddenly startled by cries of people and the neighing of horses on the background.

Suddenly we saw one of the horses running on the wider path. It rushed straight at us, it had stampeded. It dragged the pole to which it was tied with it. That really startled the animal, the pole hit in all directions, between the bushes and against the legs of the animal.

It all happened so fast, we both stood there, not knowing which side to choose to run away. I yelled at it, trying to send it to another direction, but despite this it rushed right towards us.

That was such a scary moment folks, when I think back on it I almost start shaking again!

Then – we had good luck with the animal's “bad luck”.

It crossed the ditch towards our side and then it stumbled in full speed, and fell head over heels into the ditch. It lay there with its feet up in the air.

That the horse stumbled was our luck, I mustn't think what could have happened otherwise.

The poor animal, it was totally in panic but it didn't take long before it stood back on its feet.

Very shocked it rushed off, now on the wider path, while the owners now also came running on. I yelled at the man that his horse had fallen head over heels into the ditch, he had not seen that this happened. They were now trying to catch the second horse, it also had chased away but it wasn't so scared as the first one.

Luckily the woman could catch this one very soon. The man kept running behind the first horse but it took no long before we couldn't see it no more. The fact that he had no transport (they arrived on the horses) made the situation very worrying. The wider path on which the horse rushed away eventually ends on a motorway.

Oh oh – I really had to do with the animal.

Then there arrived a man on a bike and he offered him his bike to search after his horse.

Meanwhile, someone had taken pity on the second horse and yet another cyclist also lent the woman his bike to search after her horse.

After a while – they both had disappeared out of our sight.

Oh -- I wished that there wouldn't happen an accident.

Imagine that the horse would hit a car in panic, this wouldn't be the first time that such thing happens. Then also some people would get hurt. I even wouldn't think on this.

Still very shocked we went back from were we came, and then I found one of the horse's stirrups still attached to its leather belt hanging in the bushes. I went to the man who had taken care for the second horse and handed it to him.

When we drove away with our car we were not at ease because it could be possible that we might encounter the stampeded horse but except from its “excreta” on the road we didn't see abnormal things. We wondered what would have happened.

And what do you wonder?

Perhaps you know me already a little.

Maybe you can guess.

I was not at ease before I knew what happened to the pore animal.

Before I could end this post (hm hm:) it takes a little longer than when you write a post) I phoned the tavern and they had good news.

The owners had found their horse and it was OK. Probably it was bitten and frightened by the nasty stitch of such a “stitch fly”, such one where also I was so afraid for.

Wasn't this a lucky end for the *three of us!

That good news – made my day!

Have a nice day too -- without such an encounter! :):)

See you!

PS: Of course: the three of us are, the horse and we both!

Problem Solved

2010-07-13T00:37:00.000-07:00

LOL!!!

Wouldn't that be great if that was possible.

Yesterday I wrote the post about the problems with publishing pictures with the thought that It would take some time before I could solve the problem but it was much easier than I thought.

Actually if you know what and how to do it – then “afterwards” it's of course always easy. Thanks to the “blog-doctor” I could correct the errors very quick. It's so simple to do folks. Now the pictures always drop at the right place, with the possibility to enlarge them and there occur no more empty spaces in between.

Actually it often frightens people (thus also me) to work with things that they (or I) don't know, and working with the HTLM codes really doesn't seems easy, it really puts me off to do something wrong.

But I think if I don't try new things then I will never proceed and improve, and although I'm old I'm still eager to learn.

So – if you want to know more about it, I have written a very simplified “how to” about it.

(So simple that even I understand it:):).LOL)

Just ask me if you are interested in it, then I will explain it in a very easy way.

Oh oh, I'm breaking my Head!

2010-07-12T05:04:00.000-07:00

Again I have problems with placing the images, and this time in the new post of Pipke's life story. This time I can't enlarge them.

And – oh oh, now I discovered what goes wrong.

Because I have to publish so many pictures in one post and I also have to place them between the text at the exact place, I must drag them and thereafter drop them there where I want to place them and that's the problem. "Dragging and dropping", It breaks the HTLM code of the picture.

I'm trying to correct it. I found some advise on the site below.

Maybe it can also help you if you have problems.

http://tips.blogdoctor.me/2007/10/tips-on-pictures-in-blogger.htm

To find the correct page there click on: CLOSEST MATCH.

I will adjust the new post in Pipke's life story as soon as possible, at least if I'm capable to understand what to do.

First I must study the text from the blog-doctor very thoroughly. I hope I will succeed in it.

Wish me good luck I would say!

New Things are Certainly not Better

2010-07-09T00:01:00.000-07:00

Actually – this is my experience.

Not so long ago I started working in the new blogger Editor with the thought that this would be easier for me to work with, but I do regret that I must say that for me this is certainly not the case.

I went to the new editor because I need more time than someone who's native language is English to write down my text, so writing in Draft is a very good solution for me.

Actually the thing that I really could appreciate in the new editor was that I could work in draft and that I could publish the post on the last date that I worked in it, (and as far as I know that's not the case in the old editor).

At first everything seemed to work well, but as I said before from the moment that I started to publish pictures the misery began.

I wanted to place them in the center of the page and although I clicked on the correct preference it sometimes only appeared on the left. I also had a problem with the size of the pictures. Often when I chose “small” it appeared on the post “large”. There also appeared empty spaces there where they were not supposed to be. What's also very annoying is that when I saw the post in draft and in preview everything seemed to be OK, but it's not “what you see is what you get”. After publishing I had to change the post or even had to redo the whole post because it was such a mess.

Because I had so many problems I went back to the old editor and now “I hope” I will have less problems.

Maybe it can be that I'm not skilled enough in blogging, so I'm going to figure out what I'm doing wrong, although – there are many people who have the same problem as I.

It's only a pity that I can't use the draft in the old editor as long as I don't know "how" and "if" it's possible to change the date. Actually – I found so many questions around this subject on blogger-help, but (till now) no one could give a solution for it. Many bloggers who use the old editor have tried to change the draft date but didn't succeed in it, they even had problems with publishing in Scheduled.

Actually I have yet one other big obstruction and that's the timezone. I'm living in Europe and thus that's a problem. They say that you need to change the date of the draft just before you publish it, but the timezone needs to be correct and I don't know which timezone I must take on to be correct.

I can't find the answer on blogger-help, so I would appreciate it if someone who knows more about it can give me the answer to this question.

I'm always ready to learn, so I still hope that I will be capable to use the new editor in the future.

Blogger is a wonderful tool, but you must know how to work with it, you must know the ins and outs. So I still have a lot to learn.

Thanks for your attention.

PS: To my followers! Sorry for the mess on your dashboard. Probably you have seen that I was experimenting with publishing posts in Scheduled but also in this I didn't succeed.

Wrrrrr! I'm only angry at myself folks!

Have a good weekend!

A Very Intriguing Subject

2010-07-04T05:06:00.001-07:00

The Human Brain.

As you know I'm not a real book reader and you know *why. I prefer to read about various topics in magazines and I especially like the columns.

This week I've read an article in my weekly magazine (I don't want to make publicity so I won't tell names). I only can tell you that it's a magazine with all kind of interesting articles. It goes from easy subjects such as sports to, arts, politics, knowledge, culture, economy, medical science etc.

On this last subject I've read a very interesting interview with the american neurologist Kent Kiehl. The subject was: Psychopaths.
It's a pity, but I can't find the same text of the interview for you translated in English.

It gives a whole other view on this kind of criminals, and now they really know for sure – and they even can proof – that their brains don't function like normal people. Probably they will never be in the possibility to cure those sick minds. How to deal with them will be a very difficult and precarious point.

In the interview – Hare, a colleague of Kent Kiehl says: they understand the rules and the usual meaning of the terms "good" or "wrong", therefore they can be held accountable for their actions. He compares psychopaths with color blinds. He says: a color blind which stands in front of a red traffic light doesn't recognize the color – but he knows that the upper light is burning.

Actually it's not easy for me to describe the interview, so I better leave it to the experts to explain it to you. If you are really interested to know more about it than I invite you to see on this link.

(See also: Explore The Series.)

The human brain is something that has always intrigued me.

We humans are privileged to have such well developed brains. Unfortunately there can go so much wrong with it and the people who have these abnormalities don't want, or often can't see their handicap. It's also so that mostly they can't help the way they are because of the malfunction.

They have a sick mind, so – how must they treat them? Do they deserve the dead sentence?

Will they ever find a cure to heal them?

In the interest of society – I do hope they will ever succeed in it.

The human brain is fascinating!

I hope it could captivate you.

PS: *Why: see here.

Thanks to Sancho

2010-06-15T06:41:00.000-07:00

I want to dedicate this post to Sancho.
For the readers and followers whom followed my blog not from the start:
I have a lot to thank to *Sancho (a giant otter cub), *Carolina Vargas and *Jen from Mountain Time blog.

Carolina and her dear friend Sancho

Maybe you will ask yourself why.
Well, if you want to know it then I invite you to read the real first post that I have ever written on my blog.
***They once inspired me to learn to work with the computer and to surf on the Internet.
Jen encouraged me to start my own blog.

As you could see in the first real post which I've mentioned above, I've placed two links for you. I hope you will take the time to look at the Youtube. It only shows parts of the documentary that I saw but so you can see what a cute little guy Sancho was.

So now and then I look at the video of the BBC 1 documentary Raising Sancho that I once received from one of Jen's commenters. The story still really touches me and it still gives me teary eyes although I have seen it many times.
I was surely not the only one who was so touched by his story.

You must read the long list of touching comments from all over the world which Jen received on her blog (Mountain Time ) under the label: Raising Sancho .

This is what Jen wrote about him in her post of April 7 this year. I quote: “Even though I went through two boxes of tissues in the week after I first saw the show two-and-a-half years ago, Sancho still reverberates in my life today. I feel so strongly that Carolina and Sancho's story offers not just a deeply admirable example of human interaction with wildlife, but powerful lessons about life, risk, loss, and letting go”.
She said it so beautiful!

And yes, Sancho still reverberates in my life today too, I will remember him for always.

Without him I would never have started a blog.

And now – I'm still here – more than two-and-a-half years later and also older.
I'm now much more experienced in blogging and I'm really enjoying myself. I know that my English grammar is not yet perfect, although I think it has improved a little. My weakest points are still my sentence structure and also my conjugations could be better. Sometimes it isn't easy for me to conjugate the verbs because in English it's a lot different than in Dutch. In Dutch we use the tenses in a whole other manner. (Too difficult for me to explain it to you.:)

Knowing my shortcomings I often think on the quote that a dear blogger friend once used for her header.

It said: “Use what talent you possess: the woods would be very silent if no birds sang except those that sang best”.

(Henry van dyke).

If you don't mind, I will sing in the background choir!:):)

However, now I manage two blogs. I have built a new nest for Pipke and yes – I'm a little proud at it. I think that I can say that it became a better and more beautiful place for her than the first nest.

Oh folks, I really don't know what I would have done without my blogs, it really works as a therapy for me.
That I can write about Pipke gives me now a new purpose in my life.
I'm really grateful that you are here to read and follow her story.

This all I have to thank to Sancho.

That his memory may linger on!

PS: I've also added (already some time ago) Sancho's Youtube films on Pipke's channel above in this blog.

Enjoy them!

Life Is Like A Cup of Coffee

2010-06-10T08:13:00.000-07:00

This is something I want to share with you. I found it while I was surfing on the Internet. I don't think that I need to add words, the video itself says it already.

It is so very very true.

Have a nice cup of coffee, it's on you to choose the kind of cup!

Which one would you prefer!

PS: to Jeannie. After you have seen this video I think it didn't matter that the present never arrived. It was the intention that counted. Have a nice cup of coffee with sugar and cream of course!:)

Solving a Mystery

2010-06-07T01:09:00.000-07:00

Probably you could see (in follow blog) that I published a few test posts on my new blog: life story of a duck. Each time I published this funny waving image of Pipke.

It's the image that I use on Pipke's new nest.

What occurs now:

Although the setting in both my blogs are the same, when I publish this image on my old blog it appears like you see it here, but when I publish it on my new blog it appears with a border around it.

I succeeded to publish it without the border in my new blog by adapting the HTML code but then I have an other problem: then I only can publish it on the left side instead of in the middle.

I can not change this, I don't succeed in placing it in the middle.

Can someone help me out? Have you encountered this problem?

Can someone give me advice?

Thanks in advance for taking the time to ponder with me!

See you

Update 6/18: meanwhile the problem with the border around the images is solved. Now you will see the images on my new blog without the border.

Invitation Inauguration Pipke's New Nest

2010-05-31T01:25:00.000-07:00

We have a reason to party!

Pipke moved to a new place!

To the *commenters and readers who received no personal invitation!

Hereby I would like to invite you to inspect the new nest that I've built for Pipke.

I've created this new nest especially for Pipke's life story.

This is now Pipke's second home!
Click on the word "THIS" to visit Pipke's new blog/nest.

This is the header and the name

MY NEST: LIFE STORY OF A DUCK.
THIS IS A BOOK ON A BLOG, A TRUE ANIMAL LIFE AND LOVE STORY DEDICATED TO AND IN SWEET MEMORY OF MY DEAR MATE “PIPKE”, THE SWEETEST DUCK THAT EVER LIVED.

I hope that it gets your approval and that you will visit the new home from time to time.

That I have built a new nest doesn't mean that I will give up this first nest.

I will keep it and maintain it, it must stay neat and tidy. I will cherish it because this is the place were it all once started. I will use this old nest for other subjects than Pipke's story.

Of course that doesn't mean that I will not talk so now and then about Pipke here.

Hope to see you on my new nest!

Fran

*If I had known all your email addresses then I had sent you all a personal invitation! :)

Preparations for Tomorrow

2010-05-30T15:00:00.000-07:00

It's almost midnight here right now and I'm really impatient for tomorrow.

So, let me check one more time if everything's in order.

Yes -- the flowers are neatly arranged and the decoration is pretty I think.

The champagne stands in the fridge and my best dress hangs already ready to wear it tomorrow to celebrate the “special” event!

Oh oh, I almost forgot something!

I still have to polish my fingernails!:):)

Now that this is fixed I'm going to sleep.

I still wish you all a good night and have sweet dreams!

Till tomorrow.:)

It's a Special Day

2010-05-25T01:09:00.000-07:00

To day May, 25 it would have been Pipke's fifteenth birthday but sadly -- it could not be.

She has fought so brave until the bitter end but she could no more, her passing away was inevitable. If our love could have saved her, she would never have died.

This picture of her was taken on her birthday last year. We were grateful on that moment that she pulled through once again (for the 18^th time).

Look at those sweet eyes, how the years are showing.

We were so happy that we could have her among us yet one more Summer.

Actually you had to hold your animal friend in your arms when it was time to put it to sleep to know what it means that someone says: happiness is pets.

Her loss was heartbreaking - but after the initial sorrow I now have her wonderful memories.

I will remember Pipke with great gratitude for being my faithful mate, my best friend my everything.

And now after so much sadness something to cheer up!

I want to end this post with this funny note. LOL.

Isn't it funny, It's really appropriate *for us.

Now I'm going to see Pipke's film pictures. I'm looking now at a sunny day, we are cleaning the pond and Pipke is cheerful and lively. She was in the prime of her life. These were such happy days folks! (I will show these film pictures later in her life story.)

Looking at these images can make me smile again and I'm really looking forward to next Monday, the day that I will reveal my surprice.

See you.

Fran

PS: is this correct or must it be: at or on?

In Dutch we would say: at us.

For the Last Time - Sifting Through Ideas

2010-05-10T01:33:00.000-07:00

It's not that I am inconstant but I think I'm going to chance my *plan again (*how to publish the story).

Some comments on my blog and also emails from my blogger friends have brought me on a better idea. Actually, once before I had already thought on that idea, although -- mine was a little different, so I was still doubting.

The suggestions from my blogger friends made me sure that the new idea will work.

So – thanks to you my friends I have now made a dicision.

I can't tell you yet what my "new plan" is, but I will reveal it on Monday, May 31.

I hope to surprise you.

Meanwhile, stay tuned!

Till soon

Fran

A Little Angel with Wings of Lead

2010-05-03T22:51:00.000-07:00

This title will raise many question marks. So – I will make it clear to you immediately.

This little Angel was I.

In my post: "why it took so long", I've told you about my illness.

One of the first symptoms stands still imprinted in my memory and printed a stamp on the rest of my life.

It was not only this first experience of my illness which I do remember so well, but also the “hardness” of people on that particular day had a big impact on me.

I must have been almost 10 years old. I, and also four other girls, was chosen to act as an Angel in a ceremony of my school's proclamation.

Oh – I was so proud and eager to wear a beautiful angel gown and also large angel wings covered with white feathers.

A few days before the ceremony we had a few short repetitions and it seemed that it would become a beautiful spectacle.

Then came the day where I was so looking forward to. First we got dressed. Our angel gown was made of white shining satin. It was really marvelous. Thereafter they attached the angel wings on our shoulder. They were large and although they were covered with white feathers, they seemed pretty heavy to me.

Meanwhile the ceremony had started, and while the music sounded heavenly, we – the angels, had to mount the stairs very dignified with folded hands.

Oh – I was so proud to stand there at the podium.

After a while, we had to sit on our knees in the praying position with our hands folded on a small platform at a podium which was situated more than three meters high.
After almost twenty minutes sitting there, on a hard wooden board floor, oh – my knees started to feel so painful.

I really got problems to stay in this position. I also could no longer hold my folded hands up. I started to get so much pain in my whole body that I was almost going to faint.

I couldn't understand that the other girls could sit on their knees so long – without having problems. Also my shoulders started to ache.

Those angel wings were so heavy for my little body. It became too much for me.

It seemed almost if I was wearing “*Jumbo” wings instead of “angel” wings!

Because I was afraid that I would faint and fall down from the platform I went to sit on my behind ... and oh oh ... that I better could not have done – that spoiled the total picture, the grand finale!

One of the five angels was sitting down on her bottom and leaning on her arms.

So now and then I tried to sit upon my knees again, I tried again to be a real angel, but I could endure the pain no longer. So, for the rest of the ceremony (almost thirty minutes) I sat there on my bottom, with painful shoulders and frightened that I would faint.

(Actually – now I still can't understand why there was no one wondering what was happening to me, why no one came to help me.)

Oh I was so glad that the ceremony was over. So, I came down the ladder off the podium together with the other girls, when suddenly I heard a very vicious voice. It was my teacher. She was yelling and shouting very furious, pointing her finger at me: “hey....you there” she yelled.

The rest you can guess. There followed a real flood of abuse.

It frightened me so much – how angry she was – without asking me “why” I went sitting down that the most shameful thing happened to me. Purely out of fear I peed in my pants and wet, my socks, my shoes, and also my beautiful angel gown.

Oh -- I was so embarrassed! I cried – not only because I had so much pain but also because she was so cruel to me. I had always been a very exemplary child, this was the first time she had a problem with me and it happened against my will. I had not planned this. I felt myself so guilty. I had ruined not only the total picture but also my beautiful angel gown!

What must have been a beautiful experience for me, and I was so looking forward to, ended for me in a “real nightmare”.

She gave me no chance to explain it. She was only very furious at me, she was so insensitive! Even being such a little child I could not understand that someone could be so heartless and “this” experience became the base of my sensitivity for the rest of my life! I became a very sensitive person especially towards everything that's defenseless, that's vulnerable or in need, because I experienced it: I was vulnerable and in need, and even on that moment I couldn't count on my teacher's apprehension.

On these two pictures taken one month after my angel experience, you see me as a lively happy and healthy child, but it's not all what it seems because: at this very moment I was ill again.

(Oh folks, I almost can't believe it. This is now already 57 years ago ... and I still run.)

This day my father came to visit me on my summer camp and he took these pictures. While all the other girls were playing outside, my father had to wait to see me because I was sleeping upstairs in the middle of the day because I felt myself so tired.

Also, the outside of my left ear shell was covered with large blisters and it was very painful. So they had to wake me up.

( Actually, I can't remember that they went to a doctor with me, but probably it was because I never complained.)

And now – that I became so much older I must think back more and more on my mother.

She had not an easy life. She had to raise three little children while she also had to run a garment store. She worked very hard in her life.

She also became ill at a young age, and then I (who was only 9 or 10 years old) had to take care for her. She must have been 38 years when there went something wrong with her blood (with me the same thing happened in 1998). As I already told you, my father kept me home from school several times (for almost a whole week) because my mother had to have blood transfusions or needed help because she was too ill to stay alone at home.

It must have been a hard time for her and now I understand “why” she was never present when there was a school play or a proclamation at my school!

It was not easy to understand this as a child, and on that area I always felt myself a little ignored and even a little neglected.

Nevertheless -- now I know that she did all she could!

I still can see my mom sitting, playing the piano in the Sunday afternoons when I was little!

These were very happy moments: while she played the piano we sang all together the refrain of the popular war song titled: “It's a long way to Tipperary”! (Actually we sang a funny slang version of it.:) In my mind I still can hear how funny that sounded.)

But after playing some time her hands started to tremble. She began to wring and rub them, but it didn't help. She couldn't play further because she had too much pain in her hands.

So after some time she started to play less and less, and after only a few years they moved the piano to an other room. From then on the piano stayed closed, it only went open so now and then for my little sister to playfully strum on it.

From then on my mother played no longer the piano!

Anyhow after so many years I still feel myself guilty because we all teased her, we all said “there was always something” with her. We couldn't understand that she had problems, because often you couldn't see that there was something wrong with her, that she was ill. We only saw her taking painkillers, the one after the other like it were candies!

Therefore as a tribute to my mother: here's a picture of her playing the piano in happier and better times, still healthy!

Born in 1915 -- died in 1976

I hope she forgives me … now I understand!

Now I also feel (a little) what she must have felt, but she was much worse than I.

I am the one who came better off, I'm already seven years older than she became!

PS: I promise you (before you get enough of it, and I could understand if you do), this will be the last time that I talk about my illness. There are more pleasant things to talk about.

Now I'm going to sift trough ideas for Pipke's life story and I have a very good one!

Have a guess?

Till soon

Planning the Future

2010-04-27T06:52:00.000-07:00

I had a dream …. but unfortunately!

Until now – that dream will not come true, but I reconcile myself with it, I can't expect mirakels. Probably my aim was too high!

As I wrote on January 14, 2010 in my post: “Starting to Doubt”, I planned to donate Pipke's life story to a Charity Cause for Animals, but unfortunate it seems that I was not the only one who made such proposal to them. They said that it's their policy to regretfully decline all such offers.

I do understand that they follow a policy and that they can make no exception.

Some answered very polite and I was really pleased to hear that they found it a “*heartwarming” story. (I've only sent them a few parts of the story of course.) To hear *this made me really glad. Pipke touched their hearts, and that's my aim, to touch many hearts, and to share what we've experienced with others.

Now I'm planning how I will publish the story as a book on my blog.

It became a long story, 175 pages (in a normal book size) not all pictures and film pictures included.

So – I was thinking that: it will be easy for you that it will be possible to follow the story as you follow a story in a book. To make that possible I think it will be the best that I classify the story separately under: “Pipke's life story”, and in order that the story evolves I will add a character.

I'll give you an example: “Pipke's life story a”, “Pipke's life story b”. In this way it will appear in the sidebar and it will be possible for you to follow it easily.

(I hope that this explanation makes it clear for you.:)

Anyhow, do know – that I'm not at all a writers talent, I only tried to do my best and I hope you will take that into account, but actually – I think in this case it's “Pipke's story” that counts, that's the most important.

The subeditor has only corrected my grammar mistakes, she didn't change the text, otherwise it would have been no longer my story.

I've worked on the story almost half a year and I started to write on it when Pipke was still alive, when I didn't know “the end” yet.

I never could have thought that it would be such a traumatic experience for me.

To share her story with others will ease the pain of her loss.

So, I hope you'll all be there when I start the story.

This will then be a “BLOG BOOK”:) instead of a real book, and I hope you will appreciate it.

I will let you know the exact date.

Till soon

PS: Do you think this a good plan?

Let me know if you have a better one to publish it on a blog.

Find the Way to Waylon!

2010-04-18T01:40:00.000-07:00

Only a few days ago I discovered a very special blog dedicated to a very special dog.

His name was: Waylon.

It's such a very touching story that I want to share it with you. (See link under in this post.)

I saw a beautiful slide show about him. It brought me to tears.

As a tribute to this lovely dog, I've chosen this day in particular to publish this post because April the 18^th is the anniversary of his dead. He will be missed for ever!

This is a part that Tabitha wrote about her dear friend:

WAYLON

April 9, 1997- April 18, 2006

 Forever in my heart.

Words could never describe how I feel about Waylon.  

He was more than a dog, more than a best friend - he was part of my soul, part of who I am.

I wish you strength today Tabitha, I know you will need it.

To the followers and readers: may I invite you to go to this blog and click on the picture above at the right side to look at the beautifull montage.

I'm sure Waylon will also conquer your heart!

Why it Took so Long

2010-04-11T04:22:00.000-07:00

Long I've hesitated “if” I should talk about this.

I've written and finished this post already in July last year. If I want to explain you why it took so long time before I started to learn to work with the computer and began to surf on the Web, then I must broach a subject that many of you rather don't like to read about and that's: illness.

There are more pleasant subjects to talk about, but illness is a part of my life.

What my illness is: till now – no doctor can tell it, and I consulted many.

They “assume” that I have an autoimmune disease, that my immune system is over active and that it attacks my own body. The only thing that I can do against it is to take inflammation inhibitors, but they only suppress the symptoms, they don't cure. So – I don't take them often because the side effects are sometimes very heavy. Of course I also can take painkillers, but that's bad for my stomach, therefore I take them not too often.

So I try to live with it and make the best of it.

I have many types of symptoms and I will not enumerate them all. I shall try not to go too much in detail.

The first symptoms started already at a young age, (although at that time they were very mild).

One thing is certain: I'm not alone in the family. My mother had the same problems. (When I was a young girl, my parents kept me home from school to take care for my sick mother.) My sister who's five years younger than I, is the “worst“ case in the family.

She was only 38 years old when she had to give up her work completely. She had periods that she had to sit in a wheelchair because she could no longer walk. She worked at a bank office where she had to sit for long times in the same position on her desk, and this became a very big problem for her.

For me: that's also “one” of my problems and “that's” why it took so long time before I learned to work with the computer! I've always postponed it, I've always avoided to sit still too long .

Because of this, I had to give up most of my hobby's such as: oil painting, needlework, home decoration, gardening etc.

But – I consider myself lucky – I still can run!

I even think that “running” is my salvation!

It seems as if my body needs oxygen and that's what I'm getting when I run. I have to move my body without using too much force.

The power of my muscles (especially in my arms) is deteriorated, I can't carry heavy objects. When I work, I must always work with the breaks on. When I don't listen to my body then I have to pay the bill later. Sometimes, when I have done too much (and that's already not much) it can be that at once: I can't stand on a leg or raise up an arm. It can be also that: without having problems the day before, when I wake up the next morning I can't get out my bed without help and then I can't even putt on my own cloths.

Sitting behind the computer can be very difficult for me because after a while my whole body can start to feel very painful. Then it can be that I can't keep my head upright … and I must lay down, and yes, since I've started to work with the computer I had to pay the bill many times.

It's so difficult to find the right balance between rest and work because working long and also sitting or lying still for long time isn't good for me.

Because of this my social life is really restricted, and sometimes I can't go to a restaurant or a theater. It has been, that I went to a theater but then afterwards I needed a whole week to recuperate.

Sometimes I can't even drive the car, it can be a real torture. Then I can't keep my feet on the pedals because after a while I get cramps in my legs or feet, and that makes it even dangerous to drive.

What makes my problems worse: I like working, I like doing things!

But, I have the “luck” that sometimes I have no problems for months.

Then it seems like I was never ill before.

What makes my illness “incomprehensible” is that: in 1988 (then I was 45 years old) I even had a few months that I could run almost 285 km per month! I still can't believe it and I even thought that I was wrong. For this reason I looked it up, and yes … it is true!

Now I'm almost 67 years old and if I'm not ill, I still run 6 km every other day. After I've ran I must rest and then I sleep at least an hour or so. If I can't run, then I try to walk the same distance, and then I can feel myself so much better. I started to run 29 years ago.

You must know, in earlier times I could move mountains! I was the interior decorator and the paperhanger in the family. I papered my own place and also several rooms of my parents and my son's house.

I made the curtains and the roman blinds, for several rooms of my home and also for my son's whole house. Sometimes I also made my own cloths.

During the construction of our new house in 1994, we installed the electricity and we built our garden house ourselves. I was my husband's “assistant” electrician and bricklayer, I liked working together.

But then came1998, the worst year in my life!

Already a few months before I had felt myself very bad and exhausted. Going up the stairs felt like climbing up a mountain and I could run no longer
I was hospitalized that year in January for a whole month. Doctors assumed that I had had an internal bleeding because my hemoglobin, haematocrit and also several other blood values were critical low.

I was very ill at that time, I had constant pain in my whole body. I couldn't sleep from the pain and I felt entirely exhausted.

By matter of speech: my whole body was turned inside out – they did so much research on me, but they couldn't find an internal bleeding.

What they found was that I had (and still have) deformed and enlarged red blood cells.

In fact, I was glad at that moment that they found “something”, but because they found nothing else their research went into a whole other direction!

They asked my husband if I was maybe someone who was “mutilating” herself!

Maybe I was someone who was cutting herself!

That would have been an “easy” explanation for my blood loss. If they can find nothing then it's all in the head!

It made my husband really furious.

So, after staying a whole month in the hospital I could leave without a statement for my problems. I had to take very strong iron tablets and I had to keep rest. Every three weeks I had to go back for a blood control.

It took almost half a year before I recovered and that my blood results were OK.

In the years afterwards, other doctors discovered that there was much more going wrong in my body.

I had a magnesium deficiency (or magnesium leak, that's how my doctor – an endocrinologist – calls it). Magnesium can't get into the center of the blood cells. That explained why I had (and still have) so many cramps and also felt sometimes so exhausted. Until 2 years ago I had to go frequently (at least every three weeks) to the hospital for one night to have a magnesium *intravenous infusion (drips over 12 hours). In spite of that, my magnesium level will never become optimal and I shall have to take magnesium supplements in very high doses for the rest of my life. The lack of magnesium makes that my hands and arms often tremble and that I can't concentrate myself so well. I also can't cope so well with stress.

Now my iron level is much too high and my sugar level goes much too low and recently I had a vitamin D deficiency.

One symptom is not painful but very annoying: heavy equilibrium defects. Then it feels like I am constantly sitting in a merry-go-round. Then I sometimes fall, and feel so sick that I must vomit. Then I lose all my self-confidence and then I'm afraid to go outside the house.

In fact: there is almost no organ or system in my body that had not to deal with my illness.

But I will not give up, I'll keep on fighting.

If you are still reading this, then that's very kind of you to stay here and to endure this all. It was certainly not my intention to be pitiful!

In fact – I consider myself “lucky”, because I know that there are many people who are so much worse than I am. I – I still can run!

One positive outcome of me being sick is that: if I had not been ill, then Pipke would never have lived. Why – I will tell you this later in her story.

Now I shall close the shutters of this “unpleasant” post because it was already more than enough.

I'd hope it didn't annoy you too much.

To finish I would like to give you this advice: take care for your body – listen to your body – you have “no body” in reserve! Stay healthy!

Thank you for reading my story and I wish you all a good health!

(* I don't know if I translated it correct. They administered the infusion with a catheter in the vein, I hope you understand me.)

PS: I decided to publish this post after I encountered several blogs about people who also have health problems. They are much worse than I am. They suffer from FMS/CFS or ME. One blog especially touched me very much because I recognized many things.

I – I stopped consulting all kind of doctors because there's no doctor who “knows” what's really happening. They only “assume”. So – if they can't cure me then I rather work on it myself.

I listen to my body and take no more medicines that they prescribe, it's almost poison.

They do more harm than good.

For those who suffer one of these above mentioned illnesses:

I wish you all much strength.

Also I know what it is: not being understood by doctors.

Take care and big hugs!

First Spring without Pipke

2010-03-29T06:17:00.000-07:00

It's now more than four months ago that I have been outside in our garden.

It's now the opposite of all the other years that we live in our house.

Before: equal which season it was, there hasn't been one day that our backdoor stayed closed for longer than four hours.

And now – it was Sunday March 21. Spring was in the air, and between the rain showers, on a sunny moment, for the first time in my life I pruned the Clematis without Pipke.

Believe me: Spring has lost it's luster. It was hard for me to hear the birds sing again and to work whole alone without my assistant.

Everything in the garden reminds me to her. While I pruned the Clematis I found an old dirty feather of her hanging high between the branches. I took it, cherished it, and put it in my pocket. I even can't throw away a dirty old feather of her.

What a difference without her. What an emptiness.

I can find less joy in life as when she still was here. That missing feeling will always stay. A sunny day makes that missing feeling worse, because: then we were always (as often as we could) outside together with her.

Now – I only come outside because there's work to do.

I miss taking care for her, her calling, her warm cuddles. She brought so much joy in our life. Really, her absence weights very heavy.

This picture of her was taken on March, 24 last year.

(I know this isn't a cheerful picture, but this is the way it was.)

You can see here, how bad her situation was then allready. We really had luck that she survived it one more time.

From then on we lived the most intensive time of our lives.

They say: life goes on, but I still must find a way to overcome this grief. I must cherish the beautiful memories.

However, at the moment we are still busy to find someone to publish Pipke's story as a book.

We had one answer of a Charity Cause for Animals. They said: “Thank you for your thoughtfulness in offering the opportunity to share Pipke's heartwarming story. As you can imagine, we receive many requests to enter into partnerships of this kind. Rather than choose among so many worthwhile projects, it is our policy to regretfully decline all such offers. We hope you understand”.

I really didn't know that they receive so many requests like this, but I can understand their policy.

So, we will have to wait for what the others say.

If we achieve no result this way, then maybe we will have to search for an other approach.

Maybe we will have to think to publish it as an E book.

Of course, I will also publish it on my blog. I will keep my promise.

I will keep you informed.

Already Half a Year

2010-03-14T03:00:00.000-07:00

I really can't believe that it's already so long ago since Pipke died.

For me it seems as if it happened yesterday.

She's always in my thoughts.

To day I want to show you this beautiful memory.

Look what a proud little lady she is here.

She was here in the prime of her life and still very healthy.

This time, I was the one who was very ill and that had a very great influence on her. (In her life story I will tell you about this period.)

She was such a lovely little critter.

I miss you very much sweetie!

Cuddles

Your oma

xoxo

PS: Yesterday afternoon the ice cream car passed for the very first time this year!

It was very hard for me to hear that tune again.

It will always remind me on that very last time that we sat together on the bench with her!

A Bad Experience

2010-03-09T05:25:00.000-08:00

The main news topics of the last months here in Belgium!

Just after New Year a *young girl and her boy friend were murdered in a very atrocious manner.

After the Dutroux case the Belgian police research teams started to work together with Child Focus and so they resolved many sexual natured crimes.

Since 1998, Child Focus has treated 3000 cases a year, and closed 70% of them within the year.

The Belgian police research teams resolved these above-mentioned murders in no time and because of there assiduity they resolved also a murder of *three years ago.

From the start they suspected the *young couple's neighbour Ronald Janssen. Although this man was a very exemplary school teacher. His friends and coworkers said that the police was wrong. They wouldn't believe this.

It was such an amiable person!

A well known advocate even said that: he looks the kind of man who you would give the permission to accompany your own daughter to a party. He was always so friendly, every one could count on him.

Later that teacher confessed the two first murders. Thereafter he also confessed the murder of that young girl three years ago. Thereafter he confessed at least five brutal rapes, and during one of them he attacked and wounded a young girl very severe with a knife.

Now they even suspect him to have committed more murders.

As a young girl you have bad luck that you encounter such an amiable man at the wrong moment. They abuse the situating and your vulnerability.

This are things that happens all over the world, and – not only now in this time.

Once, also I encountered such an amiable person and also he abused the situation, but I had luck!

It happened almost 58 years ago!

Then an event toke place that could have ended bad.

This was my first acquaintance on the sexual level and it was not a good one.

I still remember every detail that happened that day.

I was only 9 years old!

In the street where I lived was a grocery shop only eight houses next to our house. My mother was a very good client there, and so now and then she sent us children to do some errands. The shop was ran by a man and his wife. It were two very friendly people. Especially the man was always very kind to me. Almost every time I did the errands he gave me a candy. Of course, I ... as a little child was very eager to do the errands.

One day I went to the grocery to do some errands for my mother, together with my little sister. She was then only four years old.

As always, he was very kind and he gave us both a candy. Then he asked us if we wanted to go with him to his depot to help him to clean his car. The depot was situated on a rather secluded place. Unsuspecting and of no angry aware, I took my little sister by the hand and so we went both with him to his depot.

Together with him we might wash the car with soap, and thereafter we hosed down the car, everything went very playfully!

After the washing came the drying, and with a cloth we dried the car. The result was a very clean and shining car.

He praised us abundantly, we had done the job so very well. In the mean time my little sister went to play somewhere else behind in the depot.

Then while he was walking around the car he said: “hey Fran, come and see ... there below ... under on the wheel there still sits some dirt!” While I was looking down, I squatted to see ... but ... I saw nothing. He came standing behind me and squatted very close, right behind me and then … it happened. He took my hands and drew them towards himself ... there ... to the place where he wanted them to be ... between his legs. Now -- I rather don't want to go in detail … that would not be appropriate, I assume you can imagine what followed!

You must know, I had never seen a naked adult man, but ... I knew that “this” was something wrong!

I tried to disentangle my hands but didn't succeed in it. Although, he was not really violent towards me but he held me so firmly, he had so much more power than I had. I pushed and pushed with my whole body, so it took some time before he lost his balance and he had to give up. So I could free myself.

Totally in a mess ... I called my sister, she was not aware of what had taken place! At first, she wanted to stay and she refused to go – but I took her by the hand and ran towards the exit.

I tried to open the gate but the man blocked it and a little struggle followed. My little sister couldn't comprehend what happened, she stood there looking very astonished at me. The man still tried to retain me but then I said: “I would shout if you don't let us go!”

After I had said that, he looked at me ... very angry ... as if he was doubting what he should do ... then after a while … he opened the gate! As fast as I could I ran with my sis on my hand ... back home!

When I came home I went immediately to my mom to tell her what happened.

She was really furious!!

After my father came home and was told what had happened he went full speed to the grocery and told the people what he thought about it. He warned them ... if he even suspected him from an other attempt he would go to the police.

(In fact, if this same thing would occur now in this time, then the parents would go immediately to the police.)

From then on, my mother was no longer their client!

We never again went to that grocery.

So now and then I encountered the woman or the man and that made me very ashamed. I was not at ease when I saw them. After a few years they closed the grocery and moved to an other place. 

Now … when I think back on that event I praise myself very lucky!

Often you hear stories, that men in such similar situation do panic, because they are frightened that the act would come out, and then there happens terrible things.

In fact, he was after all … a good bad man … (if you can say such a thing) because he could have used much more violence and also an other manner to become satisfied, but he didn't!

Probably the presence of my little sister was here in my advantage.

In fact: I was so innocent at that age, not aware of any danger.

I knew nothing about “the birds and the bees” and also nothing at all about “sex”. You must know: in that time, they told us children that babies came out a cabbage, or – that the stork brought the babies!

Even at the age of 12, when I had my periods for the first time, I didn't know what happened. They felicitated me because I became a "mademoiselle" and that was it.

I didn't know that that meant: that I could get pregnant and even also not “how” I could get pregnant! (I had to find that out myself several years later!)

We were kept so stupid in those days … now, even a toddler knows more than we knew then!

Sometimes I doubt, if the result of that change is an improvement. Now they know maybe a little too much too early. There is nothing more to discover! Their world is now engulfed with sex – there's no good balance – no golden mean!

In earlier times there was too less information – now there's maybe too much (in particular on the internet)!

(Oh oh, now I hear you thinking: she's a real old granny.)

Anyhow, then 12 years later after the event took place there happened something: it seemed almost like an incredible screenplay .

I was married and moved to a new apartment with my little son of three months old.

(My husband was at sea at that time for a journey to the USA for four months. He sailed off when my little son was only eleven days old. When he arrived back home he had to search for our new address. I had moved entirely on my own.)

I hadn't seen that grocer for almost ten years!

What was now the case: my new apartment was situated only two buildings next to this man's new residence!

I didn't know that he lived there since the last time that I had seen him!

That was not so pleasant for me, but luckily – I saw him not so often because he had become ill.

Finally: what happened during the carwash was not a pleasant but also not a dramatic event for me.

I really wasn't traumatized by it. I'm only still disgusted when I think back on it.

There happens so much worse things these days which ends very dramatic.

Every time I hear the stories of these unfortunate young girls or women, I must think back on that event and then I think by my self: I had luck that day!

There's a proverb that says: “what you see is what you get”.

Well, I have experienced (my apology to the really good men!): that you never can be sure of this when it concerns men. If you are a girl or a woman, you better can be suspicious and careful, especially when they are extremely amiable.

Now the co villagers of that Ronald Janssen are all in a kind of shock. The whole village is in a sort of mourn, now the streets are deserted. The people no longer want to talk with journalists who overflowed their village since there were only suspicions.

They still can't believe that their best friend is a serial killer.

That murderer was a master in building a beautiful facade in front of him, he misled every one.

He's the devil in disguise!

Pipke's Life Story

2010-03-07T03:04:00.000-08:00

Pipke's story is subedited and within a few days we are going to contact a few Charity Causes for Animals to do them our proposition.

I will keep you informed if we make progress.

In the mean time I will publish some posts about various subjects.

Till soon!

Update see post: First Spring without Pipke (March 29, 2010).

Later update: (May 5, 2010) I've created a new blog for Pipke's life story, if you are interested to read it then you can find it HERE.

Hope to see you there!

Black Hole!

2010-03-05T01:46:00.000-08:00

Sorry for my absence folks, but I encountered that black hole where I was so afraid for.

Believe me, it was very dark down there!

I'm still fighting to come back, and to stay at the surface.

I will come back as soon as I'm feeling better!

Thanks for your patience.

I hope to see you all again then.

Fran