Even, without wanting to, at the most unlikely moments, day or night, in the most diverse places, I can get those nasty pop-up thoughts over which I have no control. I really can't help it, it's stronger than myself.
Sometimes it all becomes too heavy, then I need to get rid of the bottled up stuff, and - so I do that, by venting my thoughts on 'virtual paper'.
So - I sit here in my office room on my desk, and while I'm typing these words on my laptop, I have the feeling as if, 'I - as a person, as a human being', didn't mean that much. It feels as if my whole life has been nothing but a 'dreary play', presented just for someone else’s amusement; as if some kind of '*potboiler or poor playwright' invented my sad twist of fate.
Actually - already from the start, he really didn't know where to go with the story.
perhaps a psychological thriller?
Certainly not a novel!.
It was not always doom and gloom!
sitting on his shoulders!
I hope one day …... the bad times will fade!
Even now these days; if I smell a 'stale smell' my mind brings me back to that place.